


Subjugation

by kosmickway (KMDWriterGrl)



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KMDWriterGrl/pseuds/kosmickway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t have a lot of common ground with Qumari women. I can work, vote, own property, drive, go on dates, and live my life the way I choose. That’s not what I mean when I say I know how they feel ...” A post-ep for "The Women of Qumar."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subjugation

“They’re beating the women, Nancy!”  

Toby heard her from down the hallway, heard the plaintive note in her voice. McNally heard it too, which is why she spun on her heel and walked away without another word– Nancy McNally could emote with the best of them but had never been good at taking it. 

He watched CJ take a shuddering breath, smooth her hair with shaking hands, take a distinctive swipe under her eyes with her thumb, the universal “I’m tearing up but I’m not going to let you know it” gesture. He watched her walk into the press room and let himself inside just as the door swung closed. 

“Good afternoon. I understand there are two birthdays today so there is cake– one cake. It’s nice to share.” 

He was the only one who would be able to tell that she was feeling rocky, that she was more upset by the news of the renewal of the lease at Khalifa than she was willing to show. He watched her go through the briefing, growing steadily more comfortable in front of “her people” until she reached a state where she could handle the next announcement. 

“The DOD will be announcing that we've renewed our lease another ten years with the Khalifa Airbase in Qumar.”

Toby held his breath, waiting for a sarcastic comment, a tirade, an explosion. God, if it was going to happen it was going to be bad and it would be a story unto itself.

“I understand they've promised to paint and add new carpet.”

And that was it. He met her eyes from the back of the room, crossed his hands over his heart, a gesture that gave her just a moment’s pause before she resumed. 

He met her in the hallway after the briefing. 

“Thank you.”

“For being a good little do-be and not throwing a feminist tirade?”

“I wouldn’t exactly put it that way. But it does make my life easier when you hold off on the tirades.”

“Well, by all means, let me do what’s easy as opposed to what’s right because it makes your life easier.”

They walked into her office and CJ swung the door shut with a bang, sending Toby’s short fuse sizzling again. 

“You want to tell me why you have a great big stick up your ass or should I just hazard a guess?”

“You wouldn’t need to guess if you’d just listen to me every once in a while!”

“You’re pissed off about the fact that we’re brokering arms deals with a country that subjugates its women. What I don’t see is how it’s relevant to your day-to-day life. You live in the U.S., you work in the White House, for Christ’s sake, you can and do own property, vote, drive a car, and go out in public without being swathed head-to-toe in material. What’s the problem?”

“I understand them,” CJ muttered, dropping her head in her hands.

“Oh, please! If this is one of your ‘I feel subjugated at work’ rants, it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’ve got equal voice to any man in this building--“

”I’m not talking about work, you jackass!” she exploded. 

“Then what the hell is it, CJ? What has you so damn emotional that no one can have a normal conversation with you today?”

“If you’d stop blustering at me for five seconds maybe I’d tell you!” 

She looked up at him then and he saw, to his horror, that there were tears building in her eyes again, but they weren’t going to be swiped away. These were rolling down her cheeks and made his very angry best friend look suddenly smaller and more vulnerable. 

“Okay ... Yeah ... I’m sorry, CJ. I– you’re right. Look, this is me shutting up.” He held both hands out to his sides, an “I surrender” gesture. 

“You’re right, Toby. I don’t have a lot of common ground with Qumari women. I can work, vote, own property, drive, go on dates, and live my life the way I choose. That’s not what I mean when I say I know how they feel. It’s– it’s the beatings, Toby, the idea that these women are beaten for doing or saying or even thinking the wrong thing. That’s– barbaric. It’s humiliating. And I know that.”

Toby’s stomach dropped so far and fast he felt as though he’d stepped onto an elevator in free-fall. 

“How?”

“I had a boyfriend once, back at Berkeley. Tom Johansson. He was a rich Napa Valley kid. He was used to getting whatever he wanted whenever he wanted it. He didn’t take well to having a girlfriend who had her own beliefs and desires.” 

The tears were really rolling down CJ’s face now, falling onto her desk blotter, but she kept speaking, not looking at him, talking to a point somewhere between his right shoulder and the Van Gogh print on her wall. 

“We were always arguing. Not like you and me– these were vicious arguments, five, ten rounds, lots of porcelain and glass crashing. I threw a lamp at him once and he retaliated by swinging a fireplace poker at my head.

“We had an argument one night over something stupid– he didn’t like the top I was wearing. He thought it made me look easy. He didn’t want me to wear it out and I wouldn’t change. We yelled– we were both really good at yelling. Before I knew it he’d slapped me across the face and broken my glasses. When I started to yell at him, he grabbed me by the upper arms and slammed me against the wall. He ordered me never to speak that way to him again.”

Toby stared at CJ. Hectic spots of red had appeared on her cheeks. She looked both embarrassed and sad at the same time. 

“That was the first time and we both figured it was a fluke– our tempers were up, it wouldn’t happen again. But the more I thought about it the more humiliating it was that he’d tried to control me and then thought he had the right to hit me when he couldn’t.

“The second time he did it, he did it for the same reasons. And that time I hit him back. I’ve never been in a physical fight like that since. By the time it was over, we were both bleeding and my face was so swollen I couldn’t eat comfortably for two days. I told my parents we’d been in an accident in Tom’s Jag. I never mentioned that he’d hit me and they never asked why I stopped seeing him after that.”

CJ looked up at Toby and met his eyes for the first time since she’d started telling the story. “It’s nothing like what the women in Qumar go through. Nothing. I was assaulted twice, by an asshole who thought he could control my every move, who wanted to humiliate me because he thought, as a man, he had the right. I chose not to stay and thank God I had the freedom to leave. 

“I can’t be as empathetic toward the women in Qumar as another woman could be, a woman who’s had to live with this hell night and day. But I understand the humiliation, the shame–  I’m ashamed that I ever let Tom Johannson or anyone else turn me into an object. I’m ashamed I ever stayed one second longer than I should have. 

“And right now, Toby, I’m ashamed to work for an administration that can overlook a country that allows its women to be treated that way simply because it’s convenient. Nancy’s probably right– in the real world, you overlook that stuff, you make your sacrifices. You trade in security and safety for the women of Qumar for a stronger foothold on the globe, and to some people that’s okay. But it’s not okay with me. It never will be.”

END.  


**Author's Note:**

> I took major league liberties with CJ's backstory when I wrote this in 2008 and I'm not entirely sure it was the best thing to do. In fact, I never went back to this facet of CJ's backstory because, on reflection, I didn't want her to have that kind of horror in her background ... and because it didn't strike me as terribly believable that she wouldn't dump any man who treated her poorly on his ass the minute that he started being a jackass. At the same time, however, I wanted to show that there was something more to her empathy than what was being shown on screen, which is why I played around with this idea. 
> 
> I didn't want CJ to have a full-on abusive relationship in her background, but I did want to show the emotional scars that can occur when any kind of abuse, even if it was a one-time occurrence, happens to someone. And I wanted to get across the point too that even the strongest woman (of which CJ is certainly a prime example) can stay longer than they should in a bad relationship simply because we don't tell woman nearly enough that they have the right to leave.


End file.
